About

Why this exists

It took a long time to get to where we are. It always felt to me that there was no dramatic moment in our life that put us into the fertility journey. In our case, no one told us there was a problem, or that there was one specific thing we needed to do to fix it. We were exploring, trying to get answers, but we didn’t know what was wrong or what we could do about it. At some point, it felt like we just found ourselves in a fertility clinic, going over our options with a doctor.

Back then, when I searched for resources on the process and what to expect, all I found was medical checklists and general advice on how to support each other. In many cases, it focused on the woman’s experience, for good reason, and was built around her. Nothing spoke about the man’s side specifically, and that’s the whole focus of this website. His side: the guy standing next to the patient, present for everything, rarely sure what he’s supposed to do.

So I created this website. This is for the men going through a fertility journey with their partner, no matter what kind.

When we started this journey, we believed IVF was very far away and had nothing to do with us. I guess we were naive at that time, and sometimes it’s better to be that way, not knowing what’s coming your way.

From the beginning, most of what we fought for was protecting and supporting each other: making sure the treatments we picked were the right ones, making sure there were no irreversible decisions or procedures, and watching out for each other mentally, talking about the situation and our expectations. We weren’t perfect at this, to say the least, and a big part of that was my own struggle to understand what my role even was. Do I need to be strong for my partner? Do I need to be sensitive and share how I feel? Do I need to proactively raise the fertility-related topics and initiate conversations, or try to avoid it? What do I want to do, and what would make me feel better?

Looking back, I think I came out of this with some kind of trauma. I also came out of it knowing that a lot of the medical obstacles, the logistics around the treatments and financials, and the internal expectations could have gone differently if I’d known then what I know now.

Our story isn’t finished. We can check one kid off the three we planned for. It was a long road, and there were stretches where we lost hope completely. Part of how I want to thank the world for what we got is to give back. If this website helps even one person going through it, I’ve achieved my goal.

I’ll always say when something is personal experience versus general information.

If you want to share your story, or just found this website helpful, I’d love to hear from you. There’s nothing better than hearing how this affected someone’s life for the better.

Good things are coming your way.

— Uri