I went into this blind
The fertility journey is going to be hard for men too. Almost nobody says that out loud.
The fertility journey is unpredictable. It can take years, and there’s a lot you can’t plan for. The disappointments, the stress, the conflicts, the loss of control, it brings everyone to the edge. This site is about that experience through the man’s eyes.
I felt like I’d lost the power I thought I had as a man: to just solve the problem. It wasn’t up to me anymore.
What I Wish I Understood Before I Stepped Into a Fertility Clinic
- A mental breakdown doesn’t necessarily mean you’re weak.
- This is already a shitty process.
- We are together no matter what.
I Put Her Needs Before Mine, and Then It Exploded
- Well guess what, even the strongest man on earth has a limit.
- It didn’t click for her that I have needs too.
- I felt I was losing it, and my only way out was to talk to other people.
IVF Explained for Men: What to Expect, Stage by Stage
- I decided to be the good vibes person, the one who no matter what happens keeps the energy up.
- And suddenly she becomes the project manager of IVF while you’re waiting for updates.
- You start celebrating numbers while simultaneously being scared of the next phone call.
What Fertility Treatment Actually Costs, and Where the Money Actually Goes
- How can you provide for him if you don’t have money?
- We ended up with more than $2,000 unused Gonal-F.
- Submit it and let them tell you no.
How to Pick the Right Fertility Clinic
- The finance team was also horrible.
- I don’t trust most of the statistics clinics show me.
- I felt like the Kardashians every time we entered the clinic.
The Day It Stopped Being “Trying” and Became Medical
- What am I even worth if I can’t find a practical solution?
- Are we in trouble? Is something wrong with me?
Signs to watch for, a piece for her
Why you need a second opinion, and how to find one
I wish I told my wife these things during the IVF journey
The bill that made me sick, and the fight that saved us thousands
All our embryos came back defective. No one could tell us why.
What we changed after that, why the second cycle worked
The traditions we made to survive the grind
We stopped going to baby showers
How to stop letting IVF run your whole life
For the friend of someone going through this
Your wife is going through more than you. That doesn’t mean you’re fine.
I was depressed, and I didn’t know that
Being honest with yourself and your partner isn’t a choice, it’s a must
Have a story to share?
This isn’t meant to stay a one-man blog. If you’ve been through a fertility journey with your partner and have something worth telling, I’d rather interview you and write it up in the same voice as everything else here, than ask you to write it yourself.
How that works, and what I promise, or just start here: